Driving on the A20 just South of Limoges in the middle of France I spotted an enormous BMW motorbike with a gendarme with sunglasses aboard waving me down. Off to an 'air' along with several other foreign cars accompanied by similar policemen.

You were exceeding the 130 km per hour speed limit.

But it's not raining. It's 110 when it rains but 130 in the dry.

Not on this stretch.

How would I know that?

Use your eyes.

What now?

You have two choices. Pay a fine right now (no credit cards allowed) or I confiscate your driving licence, you stay the night here until someone rescues you, you go to court and then we fine you. It is your choice.

How much? €90. Okay. Here's two €50 notes.

I don't have any change.

Okay, don't worry. Keep the €10.

I am not an Italian poloceman, I am French.

Sorry. How about borrowing the €10 and betting it on France to beat Italy on Sunday. If France wins (which please God they do) we could split the winnings. If not, tant pis.

He didn't go along with this suggestion, borrowed €10 from a mate to give me and let me go. I was so relieved. I suspect that if I were Italian I'd have had a lot tougher session.

Bon weekend tout le monde et allez France.