Richard: you may have left, but the blog lives on - for one more post at least. Due to popular demand we are releasing here the lyrics of the song penned in your honour and performed (OK, that's possibly over stating it) at your leaving party:

Putting on the agony

CHORUS:

Putting on the agony, putting on the style,                                  

That’s what all the publishers are doing all the while,                

And as I look around me I’m sometimes apt to smile    

Seeing all the publishers, putting on the style.                 

Charkin in the boardroom, roars with all his might:

‘Cut the discount, cut the cost, then we’ll get it right.’

He sounds pretty serious, as he waves the forecast file,

But it’s only our mate Richard putting on the style

CHORUS

Team of 50 managers trying to choose a jacket

A dozen visuals later, the designer’s bloody knackered.

Change the type, change the pic, spot varnish it as well

Will the punters notice? BAND: Will they bloody hell!

CHORUS

Editor and author at the Savoy Grill

Another glass of champers? Never mind the bill.

The book is not too clever; in fact, it’s pretty vile,

But we’ve paid a bloody great advance, so let’s put on the style.

CHORUS

Post-modern literary masterpiece we must really publish

Zero plot and character, some might say it’s rubbish.

It’ll lose a load of money, can it really be worthwhile?

It’s all saved by the sparkling, elegant prose style.

CHORUS

Publisher and agent, dining at the Ritz:

‘My client’s really famous, he’ll need some special treats:

‘First class flights, five star rooms, will make the darling smile,

He’ll never write another book, but we must keep up the style’.

CHORUS

Academic authorship is totally bizarre

A thousand copy journal is really quite a star.

There’s half a dozen readers and the Editor’s senile

You don’t get paid for writing, but it gives your cv style.

CHORUS

Publisher and agent meet to work out terms

It takes dinner at the Ivy to plan what the author earns.

It’s really very simple, ten per cent is quite worthwhile . . .

Masturbating royalties really makes you smile.

So he’s had a stylish journey through the publishing terrain

And now his time is over, it is really quite a shame.

But Harry’s waved his wand and Bloomsbury’s balance sheet beguiles,

He’ll spend a lot of money, but he’ll do it all in style.

CHORUS