I suugest that non-cricket lovers and anglophiles give this a miss.

When I went to bed on Monday night in the Cotswolds I calculated that the England cricket team would boringly bat until teatime on the last day of the test match in Adelaide thus scuppering any chance of a victory and ensuring a feeble but safe draw. Being an optimist I thought that maybe, just maybe, one of the batsmen would shine and we'd be able to get ourselves into a position where we had more than three hours to bowl Australia out and level the series. It was only when I woke at the ungodly hour of 3.30am that it occurred to me that England's batting might collapse and leave Australia a gettable target. I immediately realised that this was a wholly irrational nightmare and went back to sleep. On awakening I logged into BBC Sport and the excellent ball-by-ball commentary of Ben Dirs. This is what he had to say and there's nothing much I or anyone else can add: